I was a housewife for about the last 5 years. I recently started working again fulltime. My husband helped clean on Saturdays 3 times. It just stopped suddenly. He is working partime and I still have all the housework, bills, shopping etc. He won't even take out the trash. I can't do it all by myself. So, my house is a disaster most of the time. And I can't stand it. |||You sit down and agree to reasonable rules that you can both follow. You adjust the rules after you try them and find some bugs in them.
It's a shock to the whole family system when a housewife goes back to work. I've been there from the husband end. Suddenly instead of working hard all day and coming home wanting to collapse but having to deal with kids instead, it's working hard all day and coming home wanting to collapse but having to deal with kids and cooking and laundry and cleaning. And your wife is tired, too.
One thing that helps, if you can swing it, is to use some of that extra money you're now earning to bring in a housekeeper once a week. That takes off some of the pressure, as does eating out a little more. As a team, you both have less time for housework between you, but there's just as much housework. If you can reduce some of the cleaning and cooking that way, it will be easier to share what's left.|||Don't wash any of his clothes and when he has nothing then maybe he will want to do laundry and help. It should NOT be all on you. You both work he needs to contribute|||I would got nuts if I had to live with a man like this.
He sounds like he is not pulling his weight.
You really need to have a one-on-one conversation with him and explain that you are overwhelmed and that the house duties should not be just your responsibility.
ADD** LOL @ Blue Eyes answer!
I wish you luck.|||stop making him dinner until he cleans. If he isn't working full time, he needs to be doing house work 4 hours a day. 5 days a week|||there is only one job you need to do to get him to work around the house.|||Dont clean (including yourself), dont cook, dont do a damn thing....eventually he'll get tired of the mess....oh, and no sex either...you'll be too tired after working all day.....that should do it!!! nuff said!!!!|||Hire a maid to come in once monthly. |||Just stop doing the things you do... and when he complains, tell him you are too busy and need his help. I live with my fiance and he was the same way, till I stopped cleaning altogether. My house did look like crap for a while, but eventually he got really tired of it and started pulling his weight.
Beleive me, it will work, even if it takes time.
Also have you tried talking to him about it? If you are nagging him about it, he will NOT do anything... in fact, it will just make him annoyed and want to help you even less. BUT if you are reasonable about it, you could possibly get your point across.
Try the first method first tho! |||Wow 鈥?all this time I thought I was the only one going through this. We both work full-time, but he rarely does anything and when he does it鈥檚 the dishes. My house is always a mess and it drives me crazy. But what can you do? If he doesn鈥檛 care why should you? Do what you can when you can and let the rest sit until you feel like doing it.|||It's gonna be hard but you need to quit doing anything also. Wait until he runs out of underware or doesn't have a glass to drink out of. Then DARE him to say something about it.
YOu will make it through!!!|||kick him out and get younger model, new age men are the way to go.|||Have you tried asking HIM?????
Why waste time here, go directly to him and ask.
If need be set down a list of things you will, and will not do.
Do not threaten him, ie: withold romance, cooking, etc. Just stick to your list.
I see so many questions on here that are having negative answers. "kick him out, don't cook, don't clean, no nookie. Really???
What good is that going to do, except build animosity??
Before my wife passed away, we ALWAYS talked. Every night, after dinner at our dining room table. If she needed me to do the laundry, or something else all she had to do was ask, and leave me a reminder. And it got done. no threats, no dirty house, no witholding of affection.
But that's just my humble opinion.|||You could go the most simplistic way and make up a chart showing the amount of hours you both work, the chores that there are that need to be done each week, and who is currently doing what. Then sit down with him and calmly tell him that you are tired of feeling like you're nagging, and you're sure he's tired of hearing it too. Show him the chart and ask him if there is any way he can help you with the workload because there is no way you can continue at the pace you're going. Let him know that at the end of the day you're so wiped out that all you want to do is sleep and you know that isn't going to be good for either of you. When he does help, make sure you show your appreciation and don't criticize how he did something. ||| I also think that you should not cook dinner for him a few times and if he asks why you didn't cook,you can tell him that you have so much to do that you didn't have time to buy groceries,but that he is more than welcome to either buy dinner for the both of you or go to the grocery store and buy some groceries and make dinner for the both of you.If he goes without a few meals (or has to cook them himself) he might get the hint!!|||Ask him for his help. My new husband wasn't sure what I was comfortable letting him do, so we talked about some of the small things that would help me out. We both work full time jobs, but fortunately have close to the same hours. A while back, he wanted to watch a movie together and I told him that if he would help me clean up the kitchen after supper, we could sit down that much quicker to watch it.
Earlier this week, we decided at the last minute to go to a Bible study, but time was getting short. We had just finished supper and I had clothes in the dryer. He surprised me by saying that he would take care of the clothes if I wanted to start on the kitchen. We both did the work cheerfully and got to the church on time.
I have also discovered that if I thank him for even the smallest things (like picking up milk at the store, or rinsing off his plate when he's finished) he helps out in other areas without my having to ask. Since we've been married, I haven't had to take out the trash.|||dont do any of the house work and let it be.hell see u arnt gonna do it so he might start doing it
|||I would have sworn you were telling my story! My husband %26amp; i both work full time jobs. We have 5 children, so you know my house is a mess. I ask all the time for help. He says it's not his job that it is the ladies job. I have tried everything. not cleaning, cleaning %26amp; asking him to help. I get no where.. If you figure out the answer- please let me no|||Light him on fire.
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