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|||The army IS very stressful, so take it easy on him. Try a reward system. Offer him his favorite meal or dessert for a few minor tasks, or offer him sexual favors for some bigger projects. My wife does this, and we both get what we want out of the deal, and honestly, I dont mind doing what she wants me to do, the food and the sex is a nice bonus.|||Wait, hold it - he hired someone to help out around the house (if I read that right) and you have a problem with it because it isn't HIM doing it?
What the heck is the problem with that? He's trying to take some of the housework burden off of you - while he still brings in the paycheck.
Sounds like he recognizes your needs just fine - get over the fact he hired help instead of doing it himself, his job is hard enough.|||this is the result when young people get married. your'e not ready for this when your single friends are out partying and your'e stuck at home. you can't be self-centered and happily married if you want it to work.|||your husband is wrong, you as a housewife with two young children is a lot more work than he thinks. the best way is talk to him, tell him you want to leave the kids for a day or two to him to take care, go back to mom's house, just let him know how much work it is.|||Stop doing EVERYTHING for a few days, except for chauffeuring his dumb @$$ around and changing and feeding the babies. See how badly things pile up THEN, and THEN tell him that he NEEDS to help...you are only one person, caring for THREE children, and you just can't do it any longer on your own!!
Or YOU take off for a day and tell HIM he needs to do everything YOU do. I promise you that he will see things differently with two babies on his hip and dozens of other things to do...all in the course of a day.
Worst case, you go to your Family Service Center (I think the Army calls it a Readiness Center) and you guys get some counseling for yourselves....|||Tell your husband that it is not 1923! He needs to take that male chauvinistic attitude back to the Army and leave it there!|||tell him he must help somewhat with the kids.I was in the military once too it didn't stop me. or talk to his 1st sergeant about this they will correct him.|||stop feeding him. if he wants sex, tell him you are too exhausted. don't drive him from work. just kick him out.|||Stop taking care of him. My husband pulled the same crap early in our marriage so he ended up cooking for himself, cleaning up after himself, including washing his own dishes and laundry, and I refused to buy anything that was exclusively for him when I went shopping. After about a week he wanted to know why I was so upset so I left him home with the kids and told him to take care of it all for the day. I called a few times just to make sure he was at least handling the baby well. When I got home the kids were in bed unbathed, there were two burnt pizzas in the trash, dirty dishes were piled through the whole kitchen and my husband was passed out on the recliner with the baby. I never had a problem again. If he came home and the house was a mess he would start cleaning or take over with the kids so that I could do it. Put your foot down and let him know how it feels.|||I have a similar problem, but we have no kids, and I work a full time job. He also has a full time job but after work he goes and playes with race cars almost every day of the week. The rest of the week the house is just a place to lay his head down. Honestly I can not give you any advise but MICHELE has the right idea!!!|||you need to.....big time !!!! sit down and have a serious talk
with him !!!..and tell him that this talk is for the benefit of the
family that you guys are, still at present....and that if this
guidelines for improvement of healthy environment in the
house and family are not followed..then, family as a whole is gonna break apart !!!!( divorce / separation )
1. he must in less than a year obtain his drivers license
2. he must also take care of kids, ....like watch over them
1 or 2 times a week....not you all the time !!! and all week !!
3. he must help in some minor clean up at house
...if immediately after the talk...things have not changed at all ..!!....then in 3 months and on ...divorce or separation , is the
next step !!!!...that is what I would do !!!!|||Start throwing sh*t in the house. If he happens to walk in the line of fire....oooops.....didn't see you standing there!:)|||I would be thrilled that he hired someone to help out...I mean, that's how rich moms live! Maybe he realizes, especially with you having recently given birth, that you need and deserve to have some help. If he is not willing to do it, then....let him hire some help!
And what's with no license for a 23 year old man??? I would assume he is brave enough, since he is in the army...perhaps not smart enough??? Maybe he needs a bicycle; it will help keep him in great shape!
Seriously, these are issues that would have been great to have discussed prior to marriage. We often have different "pictures" in our heads as to what a marriage should look like. The more your pictures match what is happening in real life, the happier you will be. Same for him. Therefore, coming to some compromises that you can both live with is a great idea.
He probably won't go for it, but marriage counseling was created for just such situations. It's much more productive than getting "into a huge fight." You have little children who are watching and listening...they will grow to believe that what you two have is what marriage is supposed to be. If it isn't, I suggest doing all you can to change it into something that illustrates how you both want your children to live one day. Do you go to church? Sometimes joining a young married group is great for young husbands/wives, fathers/mothers. You may both find a couple there that you trust to help you through this difficult time.
Also, don't let yourself become too isolated. You need friends. I will be praying for you.
Peace be with you,
Annamaria|||dodnt worry about the house work. You have a 3 week old baby who requires your attention more than the house does, especially if you are breastfeeding, you need to rest. I'm sorry to say but duties in a relationship are something that you need to work out before you get married; that being said it isn't too late. You need to sit down and have an open honest conversation that doesn't turn into an argument.
If it were me I would add up the hours you spend taking care of the kids and driving him around. Add up the hours he spends working. Then see who is busier, you will probably find that it is equal so you should share the housework equally.
My husband and I share the jobs, I do a lot more but that's ok with me, it's the deal that we struck. eg I wash the dishes but he puts them away. I clean the bathrooms and dust but he vacuums. I do the laundry but he irons his own clothes. We share this equally because I am still working part time. I said when I stop working I will have more time to do all of the house work but right now we need to share it.
Good luck!|||Tell him that you love him and all, but he needs to understand that you also work and work hard for the good of the kids and him. It's not easy doing what you do and men often think that just because they work outside the house they do everything.Mom's work never finish. They come home from work and go take a bath,eat and then that is it, oh wait then is the sex that they want while you r still doing everything around the house because that's how it is for moms. I know u don't mind doing all this things. He will have to understand that is 50 - 50 no matter who works more or who works less. All he needs to do is understand you a little. Help the mother of his kids every now and then. Don't fight or argue just talk to him softly and make him see what u need from him. I'm so sorry for what you r going through.
Wish you all the luck in the world.|||get another wife
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